Gift Of A Friend

The gift of a friend. What exactly does that mean? To me, it sounds like it means that friendship is a gift that should not be wasted or taken for granted. Think about it. A gift is something someone gives you. It is something that is received. When we think about friendship as being a gift, it reminds us that friendship is not always just assumed. True, different personalities play into this, but for most, whether you are super out going, or extremely shy, or just somewhere in between the two, a person's friendship is theirs to give, not ours to take. So why do we take advantage of it so much?


As a child, I struggles a LOT with finding good, solid friends that would stick with me for life. I was never mean to any of them, it's just that in their eyes, I wasn't fit to be part of their group or clique. My first best friend experience happened in 1st grade. This girl and I were pretty much best friends. Or so, that's how I saw it. The next year, this girl decided to not hang out with me as much, and start making someone else her best friend. Now, in elementary school, these kinds of things happen quite a bit. But for me, I wanted to be loyal. So seeing my best friend no longer have an interest in me was very hard to understand. I didn't quite get it, and at times, people had to flat out just tell me in a very harsh way that they just didn't like me anymore. Hurtful? Oh yes. Little did I know that scars were being left in my heart, and I would have to deal with this later in my life. After that, it seemed as if the pattern would just repeat over and over again each year until I just knew that I didn't really have a best friend. That's why I think it was so hurtful when I heard people say as kids that they were best friends. Because I didn't know how that felt or what it was really supposed to mean.

Later on, as I got older in elementary school, my cousin, who is 2 years younger than me, and I started to hang out a lot. We had a TON of play dates, we had sleepovers, etc., etc. We even started a band together and wrote 2 songs together. I can't even describe how fun that was. But I knew her and I both subtly "battled" all the time for control of the friendship. She had a strong will, and I knew because I was older, I didn't have to take it. So, at times, we butted heads. A lot..... But, the good news is that it never ruined our friendship. But I feel that I did later. I remember in 7th grade sitting in her dad's office, with just her and I alone, and I told her the hard news that I didn't want to be in a band with her anymore because I didn't like how she sang. I feel so stupid for acting so judgmental and jerk like. I was acting like exactly like the girls who had treated me badly as a kid, and told me they didn't like me right to my face. What a mean and horrible thing to do.
At times I wonder if I hadn't done that if her and I would have still been best friends. I wonder at times if she would have continued to work on her singing. I wonder if she would have not tried so hard to be different, but just know that she is perfectly fine just to way she is. I regret every day how I treated her. I just wish she could see how sorry I am that I pushed her away.
To that person, if you are reading this, I am so incredibly from the bottom of my heart sorry for the way I treated you. After all, didn't we always used to say that we were best friends/cousins/just-like-sisters? :) Either way, just know that I never meant to hurt you, not even back then. Love you. :)


Now, with that, lets continue. Throughout the rest of middle school/JR High, I still face the same old "lets be bffs this year, but I'll forget you next year" game, that is, up until 8th grade. In 8th grade, I got yet another taste of what a best friendship is like. I met Liv, and I re-united with Bai. :) Now, Liv was somewhat new to Omaha, and Bai and I had met in 2nd grade Sunday school. :) We were never "best best friends" as kids, but we did have a few play dates. :) I remember in 3rd grade, she came to the school I was at, but sadly, after 4th grade, she moved to Pennsylvania for 3 years. But, I knew that night when her & I sat on the front porch steps (we were part of a small 7th grade girls-before 8th grade- bible study) and talked literally from the time we re-united to the time my mom came to pick me up, there was something special there. :)

Little did I know that 2 years later, I would get sick, testing both of our faith and our friendship. I can say that everything we went through both together and apart during that time made our friendships stronger. Liv, Bai, & I were inseparable. That is, until Bai, my bff that I love like a sister, went off to college. I was scared that I was losing her. And I felt that if I didn't say something quickly, she'd lose me too. But, thankfully, we sorted it all out in a super duper long, yet extremely important and meaningful e-mail. I can say I love her like a sister more that ever, and I pray that nothing would ever tear us apart. Best friends for LIFE. Remember that, girl. I love you, a LOT!!!!!!! :))))))

Now, even though Bailey had left, I still had Liv. And her and I grew closer too, but she recently moved to TX to follow her dreams of being in fashion. :) Thankfully, I also now have a ton more friends in my college group at church that I hope to keep for life, and friends even outside of there.

You see, I've grown from the shy, scared, insecure(ok, so I still struggle with being insecure sometimes), clingy girl who just wanted to be loved, to a brave, confident, and strong young woman of God, who KNOWS that no matter what, she is loved. I am LOVED. No matter what. And all those scars that were marked on my heart, He has healed them. All of them. I love his healing. What a beautiful mystery it is. :)

So, Thanksgiving is tomorrow and this is what I am thankful for: I can't describe to you how thankful I am for friends. I don't mean that in a vague or shallow way, either. I am truly, truly grateful for all of the friends the Lord has blessed me with. And I know now that the friendships that don't really exist anymore aren't because I caused it. It's because He allowed me to go in a different way so that I could meet friends that would love me for me. I now realize that He has blessed me in so many ways.

It's funny how as kids, we don't quite understand the value of friendship. And no, I don't mean value as in the happy meal or value menu at McDonald's. I mean the beauty, the love, the care, the GIFT of a friend. It's someone you can cry with for no reason. It someone you can trust in a time of need. It's someone you can laugh with over silly things, both big and little. It's someone to share joy with. Someone to listen. Someone to say, even if they don't know how to help yet, "I'm here for you". That's friendship. Celebrating moments together, praying for one another, going on crazy adventures together, that's friendship.

And you want to know something? There will be times in our lives where we will feel lonely. It will happen. But it doesn't mean you are alone. You are not forgotten. You are not nothing. You are a beautiful creation, made by the one and only God Almighty. HE created you, HE LOVES YOU, HE desires to be close to you. To have a friendship with you. In the end, even though we are being blessed with fellow human being to help us through life, they might fail you, but HE NEVER WILL. HIS LOVE NEVER FAILS!! Don't give up hope.


"Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more"- Christina Perry, "A Thousand Years"
I feel like the Lord is saying this to you, and to me as well, as a testament of his undying, and unfailing love for you. He will never leave you. Just trust in him.

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb." - Psalm 139:13 (NIV)

He's known us since before we were born, and has desired to show us His love from the second we were conceived.


Even if your friends and family leave you, HE never will. The ultimate best friend. He is truly our first example of what A Gift Of A Friend really is. His son Jesus is our gift. HE is the gift of a friend.

Friendship is a gift not to be wasted. Don't waste it or spend anymore time with out it. It is worth every bit of your heart. I promise, He will not break your heart. He only desires to mend it. :)

And that my friends is the most beautiful gift of all.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you were inspired, or started to perspire or something. :) Love you all. :)

<3 Sami :))))




Don't mean to have a cheesy ending to this, but listen to the words of this song:
"Gift Of A Friend" by Demi Lovato



(lyrics video version)





We Have a friend in Jesus. ALWAYS. :)

You should read this :)

So, I'm gonna abandon this blogspot thing. If you wanna read a blog by me, then go to http://peacelovejoysami.tumblr.com . I'm not deleting this account, but honestly, I'm never on here, and I'm kinda diggin tumblr more.
So remember:

http://peacelovejoysami.tumblr.com

Peace and Love,
Samiiiii <3

"Some boys will become men, just don't kiss them 'til then"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EyaNnHNz0Q

:) "Song For Tricia (Princes and Frongs)" By: Superchic[K]. :) Enjoy.

Love,

<3 Sami :)

The Whole Earth Shakes

So since I tried to post this song on this blog thing: http://tl.gd/15ol1v and failed, I'll just post it here. :)

I woke up with this song stuck in my head, after also having a fairly strange dream (not strange necessarily, but it was not usually what i dream of).



Enjoy!! :D

<3 Sami.

All you have to do is.....try. :)

I have too much to say for this blog. It couldn't, in any way, possibly contain the excitement I'm feeling right now. I'm feeling strong, confident, successful, accomplished, and very very very very very blessed. You see, a few weeks ago, I started to get a cold. And being a singer and all, that pretty much sucks. So, since I had been preparing for the Variety Show auditions (which were in like a week from when I got sick) for over a month beforehand, I was completely bummed out about this whole situation. I had decided that if my voice went out, that maybe it was God's way of letting me know that I need to re-direct the focus to him. So, I put on a smile, and faked that it was alright.

But heres the good part:
A day before the auditions, my voice started returning to normal, but I was still coughing and stuff, making it impossible to practice without me messing up the song. So, I went to school the next day feeling.....conflicted. I knew I wanted to audition more than anything else (due to the fact that I chickened out last year, and quickly walked out crying because of my fear of never being good enough). And God knows that too. But I wasn't sure if that is what God wanted me to do. I was still unsure of if I would be able to sing the somewhat high notes, but I knew that if I just tried, than it would be more than I did last year. So, I faced my fear dead on, and after about 3 hours of intensly practicing before the auditions, I did it. I went there, and did it. And you know what? It felt amazing. And the best part was that people that I never thought would ever say I had an good voice, or would ever compliment me on something like this, well, I'm pretty sure that I blew them away because they all complimented me on my performance afterwards. :)

Not only was I able to prove myself to everyone else, but I proved something to myself. I CAN do it. And I learned from all this that all you have to do, is TRY. :)
I hope this blog entry inspired someone to get out there and face their fears head on.

NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP. And I mean that. You never know what you can do unless you try.

And I honestly believe that God allowed my voice to heal just in time for this because He loves me. And He knows the desires of our hearts. He cares about what you care about. And this just proves that He is continually faithful.

In case any of you are wondering, the song I sang was "Believe In Me" by Demi Lovato. She is honestly an inspiration to me. And I'd like to pass that inspiration on to whoever reads this, along with everyone else.

Love,
Sami. :)

Ps- The sun is shining, it's warm outside, and God is amazing in so many ways. This might be the best spring so far. :)

The Way You Move Ain't Fair, You Know

So, I've been thinking. Maybe my "reinvention" is more of a redemption. Or at least more of me getting back to the heart of worship. Which is all I want.

Anyways, I wanted to share a song with you that I like a LOT!!! :D



That's all for now.
Love,
<3 Sami :)

Reinvention

So, for the few that actually read this blog (if any), I've changed the look of it. You see, I've recently been renewed in Christ, so along with that, I wanted to change the template on this as a way of saying that the past is behind me now. I know, I know, this really isn't that big of a deal. But, It's kind of how I do things. Something in my life changes, and I end up changing the backgrounds on here, and on both of my twitters. It's like a reinvention. I'm making sure that those backgrounds sort of represent who I am. It's my own personal way of being unique. And I know I'm already a unique person in my own ways, but this is just another way to stand out. Well, sort of. It's like the song that I've recently been addicted to by Britt Nicole ("The Lost Get Found"):

"Don't let the lights go down
Don't let the fire burn out
Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why dont you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found"

Ok. So I know that that song has been out for a while now, but I recently re-discovered it, and it's filled with so much truth. I pretty much love it.

So, that is what this blog entry is all about. Reinvention. And it's not just the name of the new Superchick album that comes out in May. ;)
It's my personal way of saying I'm not going to give into the world anymore. Of course everyone slips and falls every once and a while, but I'm not going to be believing lies anymore. It's time to get back to God. No more time to waste.

Well, if you read this, thanks. If you didn't, then you should, and you should feel guilty about it. JUST KIDDING!!!!!! :D It's cool if you didn't read it. Either way, I have to go now. Until next time. :)

Love,
<3 Sami

PS- AWESOME new song by Meredith Andrews "Never Move On":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpSsYHv_16c

Super Short Blog :)

So, usually, I have super long blogs, but today I just decided to do this: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/3insa


or if that link doesn't work:

http://tl.gd/3insa

Well, that's pretty much it. That is my blog for today. Enjoy. :D

Love,
Sami <3

Reasoning

You know, for a while there, I almost wanted to delete this blog. I thought maybe it was getting too personal. And I didn't want to worry if others could see it. But I finally figured out that you say what you want to say. I know this will sound beyond cheesy, but I learned something while watching Spiderman today. There is always a choice. Whether the situation seems impossible or not, there is always a choice. Lately, I've chosen to make things complicated. I've been trying way too hard to make friends with a guy I like in hopes that he would see what I want him to see about me, and maybe possibly fall for me one day. But the truth is, If we're not meant to be, we're just not meant to be. I can't force a situation. Although I'd like for everything to go the way I want it to go, it probably won't. I'm not in control of those kinds of things. God is. And I talk a lot about how God is in control of the situation, and how I'm giving it all to him, but if I truly am giving it to him, than maybe I should stop trying to be something I'm not. I suppose you could say that this is an "easier said than done" situation. But it's actually quite simple when you think about it. I have a choice. I can either keep striving to make my life have a fairytale ending, or I can allow God to take my burdens and sit back and relax. I'm choosing to relax. I don't need to have control, although I thought I did. It's tiring to try and make someone fall in love with you. It just doesn't work. And I kept thinking that I had to "let him go" or "give up". But by letting God truly have the reigns of my life, I'm not really "letting him go", because I never had him. And as far as me "giving up", it's really not so much giving up as it is not worrying about this anymore. The truth is, even if I have an interest in a guy, that doesn't mean that I know why we met. Yes, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes, I don't really want to know what that reason is. I mean, if God wants me to know, he will show me later in time. But as for right now, right here in this moment, I'm going to enjoy my life. God will do beautiful and wonderful things in my life, and with me. And it's not a bad thing to pray about what He wants me to do in my life, but I'm not going to worry. Worrying is a time consuming, foolish thing to do. I've got better things to do that sit around and think about the "what ifs". So, that is all for now. Thanks for reading this if you took the time to. If not, that's ok. It was really me reasoning things out loud, or in a blog. :)

Merry Christmas/Happy New Year,
<3 Sami

Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart?

So, the last month or so (the time since I have last been on here) has been a whirlwind of crazy emotions. I became way too stressed for my own good at one point, but then God somehow changed everything, and gave me peace in the middle of a disaster. I love Him so much. I am glad that He is in my life.
Which brings me to yet another point. I am unwillingly in love with someone who sees me differently than I see them. I think you know what I am referring to, but just to clear things up, it is a certain someone in a certain class. Ok, maybe I'm not totally in love. I'm not quite sure what real, passionate love is really like. But I am trusting that God will provide a husband for me someday. The only problem is that there is someone I feel something for already. I keep reminding my self that it is just a crush. But there are times that I feel so much more than I've ever felt before, that I can't help but think to myself that this has got to be something more that what it is at the current moment.
I need to know if what I feel is mutual with this other person. And even if it isn't, I'd like to know that what I say and do, and who I am is intriguing to this person. Not in a, well, I'm not sure how to put this but I'll try, attractive (as in "sexy") way, but in a way of wanting to get to know more about each other and actually become friends. Because that is what I'm feeling. Currently, I'm not feeling any "cutsy", "overly romantic" feelings. But I feel as though I could talk to this person for hours, and I have this incredible want to get to know this person. I want to really know him. Not just be a cutsy, giggly, high-school, "romantic" crush, but an actual relationship, whether it be just friends for right now, or more than that.
There is one hangup, however. He's got a girl, and his girl and I are friends. Last time I saw her, I wanted to be excited, but I felt a little crushed because I saw them talking before. I'm not stupid. I know when people are feeling something more for each other. And although I spend the rest of the day convincing myself that they were just really good friends, I knew. I knew. And What is worse is that I knew I knew. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. The hardest part was learning that I was right all along. And I really didn't want it to be that way, but it is what it is. I was doing ok for a while there. I managed to get over that fact that they were back together, but then yesterday, I cried about it for maybe 5 seconds, and then I moved on. I refuse to let myself break over this.
But I do believe that God has allowed us to meet for a reason. Maybe he is teaching me to be patient and wait for my true love. I mean, I KNOW that I am willing to wait for heaven and earth to come for this boy (which is weird because I've NEVER been this patient about a crush in my whole entire life), but if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No point in loosing sleep over things like this. Not anymore.
Anyways, Now that I've poured my heart and soul out to you, I have nothing left to say. Besides, this blog is getting a bit long anyways.

Love,with all my heart,
<3 Sami


"Firefly"- Jimmy Needham

nervous butterflies or the flu?

So, lately I've been feeling this wierd feeling in my stomach. And at times, it hurts really bad. It feels like it's cramping, yet at the same time I like it. I don't think its the flu. I mean, it only happens when i think of one thing, or, um, person. It has got to be butterflies. And what sucks is that I can't get rid of them. It happens whenever I think of him. I get that feeling, and then I feel giddy, and I end up not wanting to eat very much. I think I may just be love sick. Head over heels, uncontrolably love sick. And whats weird is that I like it.... :D
He honestly inspires me to write not only songs, but also poems. And when one thing happens with him and I (like when he talks to me for maybe 2 minutes tops), I just can't stop writing. The words flow out of me so fast, and I love it. He is the first guy who has ever inspired me to write this much. I'm thinking God allowed us to meet for a reason, and this might just work out to be ok. But, I need to pray about it. I'm not going to work myself up for something that will just let me down in the end.
"I get this feeling that if I fell in love with you, you wouldn't know what to do...."
Well, that's all for now.
<3 Sami


"You give me love, love, love, love, crazy love"- Crazy Love by Michael Buble
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td7y8evEV7c

L.O.V.E.

So. Here I sit in Chemistry class. I know I'm supposed to be researching things for my project, but my mind is everywhere else right now. I can't concentrate. Maybe it's because of a certain boy in a certain class......or maybe it's because my mind has been going off of 4 hours of sleep every night for the past month. I'm not sure, really. But I do know that it doesn't help that I have been stressed out lately. I am starting to think clearer now that I am well rested (my mom let me rest this morning and come to school for the last 3 classes).
One thing that has changed, since I've gotten sleep last night, is that this boy I like isn't everything. My mind has been consumed with him lately, and It really shouldn't be. I can't remember why I was ever overly-giddy about this. I think I'm starting to remember that there are more important things in life than boys, pointless crushs, and being "popular". I shouldn't care about the opinions of those at that stupid school. I have more important things going on in my life, and I should focus on what I came here to do: graduate and get into a good college. I should quit worrying about little things and focus on what God has planned for me. He is in control, and I have to remind myself of that all the time.

Anyways, I need to go do homework now. I'm singing at youth group for the second time tonight! :D

<3>

Breakin' At The Cracks

I always feel like I'm in the shadows, you know? Like everytime I try to prove who I am, someone has to one-up me, which of course makes my self-esteem plumit. For example, with school. I can't simply just want to be an actress. It's like if I really want to do this, then I have to be practically obsessed with all things theatre. But the thing is, I am not that girl. I write music. That's who I am. I am a lyrical heart. And whether they realize it or not, I feel like I get stuck in their shadows most of the time. Like when I audtion for things, I always feel second best. But what really annoys me is that I know I can do it. But it seems that now one is really giving me a chance to show them all I can be. So here I am. Stuck as the girl that isn't popular, is easily broken, but has a lot of heart. I just want to be given that chance.